More Than WE Know

Many Women Entrepreneurs I speak to shy away from networking because they think of it  as a means to an end -  a way to further a professional or personal goal. In this context, it can feel one-sided and extremely uncomfortable. I have even heard one say that networking makes her feel like a ‘user’ because her  intention  is always  to ask for something.  Similarly, other women have expressed concern that they will be rejected when approaching even those with whom they have enjoyed long-term relationships.

It is understandable that from these, as well as other, negative perspectives, many Women Entrepreneurs elect to minimize or avoid the networking process.

By contrast a friend of mine, Wendy, looks at networking very differently. In fact from her perspective, she does not focus on “networking” at all. Wendy simply gains pleasure and recognition from assisting others in overcoming what they see as insurmountable roadblocks.

(Hmmm… looked at another way, Wendy enjoys filling a need for others. This is actually a foundation principle of marketing. Provide a product or service that fills a need for your target market.)

According to Wendy she “focuses on continually creating, maintaining and expanding multidirectional, win-win relationships where she is either directly the master or the pivotal facilitator of positive outcomes. The result? A labyrinth of personal connections that would be any networker’s dream. “

This became clear to me the other day when Wendy shared the following story with me. 

“I was on the train,” she began.

“You were networking on the train!” I exclaimed.

As background, the train she was referring to was the commuter train out of New York city. Each night it is filled with exhausted and stressed passengers making their way home to a late dinner and a few more hours of work before bedtime. Like most people I work, read or doze on my commute - but apparently Wendy networks.   

“How exactly did that work?”, I asked.

“Well, I asked him if I could borrow the paper. Then we started chatting. When I heard some of the challenges he was having, I listened even more completely, focused on all that he said. I offered understanding comments throughout and saw him relax a bit as he opened up to me, a virtually complete stranger.

It made me feel great to help relieve his obvious frustration, just by the action of truly listening and acknowledging what he said. As he was about to get off the train, I offered him my card and asked him what he did for a living. It turned out that he was a perfect candidate for my consulting services. The rest, as they say, was history.”

“That’s amazing!” I replied, shaking my head in wonder.

But in reality, it wasn’t amazing. Things like this happen to Wendy all of the time. I see her as a natural networker. She sees herself as a natural connector and problem solver. She is so passionate about what she does and believes so wholeheartedly in her ability to help that she can’t resist engaging people in conversation. I don’t know how much they remember of what she says, but I know they remember her passion and her sincere interest in helping them. And that is something they know doesn’t happen very often.

I asked Wendy to give me her best networking tips. It was a challenge for her because she does it so naturally - but she did come up with some good advice:

• Really believe in the value you bring and let your enthusiasm show.
• If you can bring direct value to the person you meet, go for it! 
• If you can help that person by connecting them with someone else, don’t hesitate to do that! 
• Stay in touch. Relationships are not the same as one-night stands.       
•  Follow the “5 foot rule” – when you do speak with someone within 5 feet of you - consider how you can help them.  Also, consider that they have the potential to be a customer, refer a customer or help another customer of yours.       
• Always carry your business cards – by following the above tips, you will always need them So there you have it.

By following those tips you too can “train” yourself to network naturally, anytime and anyplace! (sorry - just couldn’t resist the pun!)

What challenges do you face in being a natural networker? How are you working to overcome them?

Please comment below or email me at Liz(at)Morethanweknow(dot)com.

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