Networking - The Power of Free Information
October 24th, 2007 by Liz Fuller
The other day I wrote about ways introverted entrepreneurs could be more approachable (without going to the extreme of wearing a nametag 24×7). The response I received was, “I’m not sure I want to be more approachable because after they approach me, I don’t know what to say!”
This is where we transition from the challenge of being introverted to the challenge of being shy. Almost half of all people feel shy at times, especially with new people, so it’s only natural that many of us feel that way when networkng.
The good news is that there are some techniques to getting a conversation going. Contrary to what many people seem to think,
Those techniques aren’t:
- wait for the other person to talk or
- fill the silence with your own chatter
The techniques are:
1) leverage free information
2) ask follow-up questions
So, you ask, what is free information?
Free information comes from two sources:
- what you observe
- what they say
Scott Ginsberg gives free infomation by wearing a nametag. People know his name is Scott so they feel free to say, “Hi Scott”. They also can see he is wearing a nametag at a grocery store or while riding his bike or walking his dog. This gives them an opportunity to comment or make a joke about this unusual sight.
In the same way, I was recommending that you provide free information to others based on what you wore or what you carried in your hands - a book, a baby or a dog leash.
Similarly, you can also comment on what other people are wearing or carrying or doing.
Another way to pick up free information is by listening closely to what they say. Perhaps you say “Good morning.” and they say, “Maybe it’s good for you, but my train was 20 minutes late today!”
You can either say , “Oh, that’s too bad” and listen to the silence or you can pick up on free information and ask some follow up questions.
“That’s too bad - How has the rest of your morning been?”
“How frustrating - What did you do during the delay?”
“What a shame- How often does that happen?”
The key is not to ask all the questions, rapid-fire, in an interrogating way. Just pick one of the questions and see where it leads, picking up and acting upon additional free information as you go along.
Before you know it, you’ve gotten over that initial awkward moment and you’re on your way to a real connection!
For additional information on networking read:
What techniques do you use for initiating and maintaining conversations? Are you in the 40-50% of people who feel shy with strangers? How do you handle it?
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This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 24th, 2007 at 6:00 am and is filed under approachability, networking. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
October 24th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I, too, am an introvert. I used to think I was shy but have since discovered that I can carry on a lengthy conversation with almost anybody, as long as we’re talking about something I find interesting.
So, when I am at a networking event, I’ll view the room and pick out somebody I feel I might be able to connect with. Then, I’ll walk up and say ‘hi’ and introduce myself. And I ask them what they do.
Now, here’s the tricky part. This is where I have to pay attention to what they say and find something in it that I want to know more about. Maybe they do something I’ve never heard of before. Or maybe they are in a niche I don’t know much about. Or maybe their business has a cute and funky name that sounds like it might have an interesting story behind it.
Then, too, there are often ways to connect what they do with what I do. If they are in a line of work that is impacted by some policy issue I’ve covered recently, there’s fruit for plenty of conversation right there.
For me, there are two keys to getting conversations going at those networking events. First, I make a point of not thinking about myself when I’m talking to somebody else. Second, I find it is much easier to accomplish that first tip if I know I’m on — I look good, I’m well rested and feeling energetic, I’m well prepared with business cards, writing implements and anything else I might need, etc.
In fact, it’s amazing how much shyness you can lose simply by knowing you are looking very attractive that day.
October 25th, 2007 at 4:38 am
Hi Dawn
Great comments.
I agree - Curiosity is definitely a key to overcoming shyness and introversion - curiosity about the world around us and curiosity about how others view it. Both of these can help us to move out of our inner-focus long enough to engage in the people and the world around us - the benefit is having more information and perspectives to ponder later on.
In my posts on the factors influencing shyness, I have focused on external factors like whether the people or situation are new to us - I hadn’t thought about internal factors such as how we are feeling or how we are looking that day! It’s an interesting factor that probably plays into it more than I had realized.
Thanks for your insightful comments! You’ve given me lots to think about!
October 26th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
Networking is definitely not my favorite thing to do. It always takes me a few minutes to warm up to the energy in the room and I never seem to make the connections I’m looking to make.
October 26th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
It’s understandable that you feel that way about networking - a lot of people do. I’ve been to your site and your business is really unusual - a mobile Notary - seems like a lot of people would find that interesting!! There’s lots of articles here on networking - hope they help!