More Than WE Know

Being a woman and being an entrepreneur can sometimes cause interesting conflicts witin ourselves.  This is especially true when it comes to negotiations.

Women have very heightened awareness of other people’s energy, thoughts and feelings.  Typically, we are peace makers, who don’t like to make others feel bad.  This is all well and good in our personal relationships, and contributes to a lot of close connections to families, friends and communities.

But sometimes in business, this strength does not serve our own best interest.

When we should be focusing on our own needs and goals, we find ourselves too quick to look at it from the other person’s viewpoint. We look at their needs and their desires, and want them to feel better -even at our own expense!  

This virtue stops being a strength when we start sacrificing our own well-being and the well-being of our business, for those of another.

Here then, are some ways to focus on negotiating win-win agreements rather than offering yourself up for lose-win compromises:

1. Have a clear understanding of what you absolutely need and what you can give up. Only offer up the items are your list that are expendable. Don’t talk yourself into turning the “must-haves ” into “nice to haves” simply because the other person seems to want it so much.
2.  Use your empathy and creativity as a strength that will help you and your fellow negotiator to get what you both want.  Some people are so focused on getting their way that they become close-minded and determined and totally miss other solutions.  Because you are able to see what both sides need, you are in a perfect position to brainstorm a new solution that enables everyone to get their needs met.
3. Keep in mind who you are negotiating for.  Many women still have trouble fighting for themselves or considering their own needs as important as other people’s.  If this happens to you, concentrate on how your employees, your investors, or your family will be damaged if you negotiate a less than optimal solution.  Remembering that you are fighting for someone else sometimes helps you to fight harder and longer.
4. Have a contingency plan.  Knowing what you would do if this deal falls through - go to someone else, focus on growing a different aspect of your business, develop a new product, etc. will give you the confidence to refuse a detrimental offer.

What is your biggest challenge with negotiating?  Are you too quick to agree to a losing solution?

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