More Than WE Know

 (photo by MikeKorn)

It’s a blustery Fall Saturday in New England and I’ve spent the day in one of my favorite activities: curled up in a chair, sipping tea, with my nose in a book.   I’ve been totally absorbed in a book called Women Don’t Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation–and Positive Strategies for Change. 

The book focuses on women’s reluctance to negotiate.  Even when women do negotiate we tend to set lower targets and walk away with smaller pieces of the pie.  The book gives an example to illustrate the impact this can have over the life of a corporate career:

Suppose a man and a woman, both 22, start out their careers after college and are offered identical jobs at a salary of $35,000.  The man negotiates an increase of 4.3 percent to $36,505 while the woman negotiates an increase of 2.7 percent to $35,945.  During the course of their career, this pattern persists, with the man receiving average increases of 4.3% and the woman receiving average increases of 2.7%.  By the time they are 65, the man’s salary will be $213,941 and the woman’s salary will be $110,052. 

This example may be from a corporate setting, but it is easy to imagine a similar scenario in a small business setting.  If a man and a woman both have 12 clients that they meet with once per week, and she charges $150 per hour for consulting services, and a man charges $175,  he will make $1200 more per month or $14400 more per year*.  Or viewed another way, he could make the same amount of money as she does, with two fewer clients, giving him much more free time as he will need to spend less time consulting, marketing and closing sales.

Many Women Entrepreneurs I know are uncomfortable setting their fees and have trouble sticking to them once they are set. They frequently give discounts before being asked or needlessly apologize for their fees when stating them. 

This book has many powerful insights about why women do this and how WE can change. I know I will be discussing it further in upcoming posts.

But in the meantime, what is your comfort level with setting fees for your services or prices for your products? How comfortable are you with paying yourself a salary from your business? Do you like to negotiate or do you avoid it? Do you know what your services are worth? 

*assumption is a 48 week year with 4 weeks off for vacation, holidays, and illness

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Mirassou Vineyards is holding a contest to give an aspiring Woman Entrepreneur the opportunity to make her business dreams come true. 

The winner will receive $50,000 as well as the support of a team of professional consultants: a business and marketing plan writer, a graphic designer, a financial planner, and a legal expert as well as mentoring from an experienced entrepreneur member of the National Association for Women Business Owners (NAWBO).

Mirassou is offering the award in honor of the great-great Grandmother of the current owner of this six generation winery.  The family credits Henrietta Mirassou with the optimism and tenacity to keep the family winery in business, at a time when women entrepreneurs were extremely rare.  They want to foster that same optimism and strength in today’s Women Entrepreneurs.

In addition to the contest, Mirassou also provides some interesting tip sheets for women in business for themselves based on the book  by Elizabeth Cogswell Baskin
How to Run Your Business Like a Girl: Successful Strategies from Entrepreneurial Women Who Made It Happen

The application is short and easy to submit.  Deadline is December 15, 2007 and is open to U.S. residents at least 21 years of age.  

Be sure to check it out - and let me know if you win!!!  

Cheers!!

As we’ve been discussing in recent posts, part of the challenge of being an entrepreneur is isolation and loneliness. Much of our work is solitary; Being so focused on (some would say obsessed with) our business and our dreams, can further distance us from those around us.

However, a strong support system is essential to our success as entrepreneurs. Surprisingly, simply having a wide circle of friends, or even one close friend, is not the same as having a strong support system. According to Tom Rath in Vital Friends: The People You Can’t Afford to Live Withoutthere are actually eight distinct support roles that we need in our lives to be our best selves:

Builder - encourages us to be more and do more

Champion - believes in us; cheers us on; promotes our causes; says good stuff about us behind our backs

Collaborator - shares similar passions, interests, and ambitions with us

Companion - always there for us; friendships that can last a lifetime

Connector - socializer; can introduce us to the right people

Energizer - makes us feel more positive and motivated; fun to be around

Mind opener - broadens our perspective on life; introduces us to new ideas

Navigator - gives us advice; helps us keep moving forward when times get tough

It would seem ideal, and certainly most time efficient, to find a single person who could play all of those roles for us. But many of us make a mistake when we expect our friends or families to be something that they are not. Just because they love us and may be great in one role, does not mean that they have the personality to behave in all of these roles. In fact, Tom Rath says it is a mistake to put that type of burden on any one person. It is important to have a circle of friends who can fill the various needs we have in our lives.

I have to say that before reading this book, I had not clinically examined my relationships. I tended to hang out with people who lived or worked near me, who I enjoyed and who made me laugh.

But since reading the book, I realize that the majority of my friendships are with companions, collaborators and energizers. Left to my own devices, I would probably continue to build more friendships like these. They are enjoyable and enable me to stay within my comfort zone.

But as an entrepreneur, I need some people in my life who are going to encourage me to grow.

After doing some analysis of my friendships, I realized that I could definitely benefit from more mind openers and connectors. These people could help me see new possibilities and introduce me to new people.

I could also use some builders and champions. Building a business can be hard work and it is easy to get discouraged. Having more people who encourage me to take risks, and believe in me when I am down would help me keep from giving up when things get rough.

I also could use some navigators in my life - these are the people who can see around obstacles and help strategize around challenges. They could help me create an action plan when I am feeling stuck.

Now, don’t get me wrong - I’m not going to go out and cold-bloodedly cultivate people with these traits or conduct screening interviews at my next networking event. But I am going to give new consideration to my existing and prospective relationships.

Instead of disregarding people who have different opinions than I do - I’m going to consider whether they can actually open my mind to new ideas.

Instead of glossing over compliments as merely polite - I’m going to assume they are heartfelt and sincere and feel good about the way those people makes me feel.

Instead of keeping all my problems to myself and thinking I need to be the “lone ranger” - I am going to seek out advice from others and consider whether I could actually apply it to my situation.

I believe that being consciously aware of the value of these roles in my life, and being open to cultivating them, will naturally help me to build them.

What type of relationships do you tend to build? What types of relationships could you benefit from? Please share your thoughts - I’d love to hear them.

How engaged do you feel in your business?

Do you get up every morning eager to start the day, or do you find yourself looking for ways to postpone the inevitable email, phone calls and paperwork?

Do you look forward to serving your customers, or feel frustrated that they seem to grow more annoying every day?

Do you find yourself wondering where the fun has gone?

I’ve been reading Tom Rath’s book Vital Friends: The People You Can’t Afford to Live Without which delves into research that indicates that the single most important factor in feeling engaged - is whether or not you have a best friend at work.

In fact, research shows that if you have a best friend at work you are significantly more likely to:

• engage your customers
• get more done in less time
• have fun on the job
• have a safe workplace with fewer accidents
• innovate and share new ideas
• feel informed and know that your opinions count
• have the opportunity to focus on your strengths each day

Rath’s research focused on corporate environments. But it made me wonder about the implications for entrepreneurs, who many times work by themselves.

Wouldn’t you like to reap these benefits in your own life?

In yesterday’s post we discussed how important it is to have a support system in order to see you through the loneliness and challenges of being in business for yourself. Today’s post demonstrates that a strong support system is necessary in order to give our best to our business, our customers and ourselves.

So, what can solo-entrepreneurs do to obtain the benefits of friendship in the workplace?

One method is to look for creative opportunities to partner with other entrepreneurs in similar professions:

• collaborate with others on presentations, books, and workshops
• swap ideas for marketing and advertising
• create a mastermind group to focus on business development
• volunteer with others in professional organizations
• share publicity on community service projects

What other methods do you use to increase your connection to others? How does partnering with others on projects or presentations influence your mood and energy level?